Dear Fellow Mommas,
Holy moly! I had no idea that motherhood would be so hard. When I say hard, I’m not talking about the endless diapers that I change everyday, the breastfeeding or formula feeding, the sleepless nights and illnesses or teething. I’m talking about the emotional push and pull of, Am I giving her enough attention? Am I doing the right thing by staying home? Am I helping her develop to her full potential? Am I feeding her the right foods in the proper amounts? Am I giving her all the attention she needs to be a bright, beautiful human being? For me this list goes on and on and on. It’s the emotional stress that makes motherhood hard and with what feels like a hundred questions running through my head on a daily basis, at the end of the day, I just have to say wow, this is truly humbling. To every mother out there that has ever existed, I just want to climb the highest mountain and shout at the top of my lungs, YOU ARE AMAZING...please forgive me for the times that I simply did not understand!
Today I hit a wall. Paul has been gone for two weeks, ONLY two weeks!!! I woke up feeling like I had either been hit by a train or was suffering from the worst hangover ever. I’m learning what its like to not have a loved one around for support and it’s not fun. For us it happens to be a deployment, but I can't help but think of people who have lost their loved ones or are living without spousal support or maybe those who are just plain lonely. I think the weight of the world hit me today. The voice that says, "You must perform like Superwoman!" Take care of your baby, walk the dogs, reach out to friends, get involved, start a business or motivate yourself to work, clean the house, water the grass, do the laundry, love your spouse, check in with loved ones, stay fit, eat well...
I have to be very honest and say that today I’m feeling more than a bit overwhelmed and I know that I’m not alone. So where do I find the power to stay SANE and BALANCED?! This is what I remind myself right now as I prepare for bed. LOVE YOURSELF! We’ve all heard the bible verse 1 Corinthians 13, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’
I will sleep on this and tomorrow when I practice self LOVE, I believe the rest will just fall into place!